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    悲伤的味道

    不知道,为什么有想写些什么的冲动,也许刚看完了那本书
    ——《悲伤,逆流成河》
    不知道,为什么潜意识里赖着不肯起床,也许床上有他的味道
    ——吸进肺里,打乱心跳的香味
    不知道,为什么现在想起好多好多人,也许悲伤情绪的牵动
    ——年轻的生命,曾经那样悲伤过


    轩轩说,姐姐照片上的鹅蛋脸好像小四,她说她是小三
    你说小四为什么每一本书都是那种调调呢?强暴、自杀、悲恸和无止境的哀伤
    小四活在一个怎样的世界里,会写出这样的文字呢?

    小三也经历过那样一些悲伤的岁月,年轮也一并记载了,那些不能抹去的痛楚
    可是,她希望自己可以淡去那些怨恨和不快,希望生活可以简单点再简单点
    像最初那样单纯洁净,那样无忧无虑,可是回不去

    我们一遍遍感叹过成长的历程
    大恶魔说过成长的代价就是失去快乐
    XX说,成长的代价就是陷入烦恼
    XX说,成长是从不懂事到懂事、从青涩到成熟的过程,其间什么滋味都有
    XX说,成长是在走向期盼的新鲜未来
    ……
    小时候妈妈常说,因为无知所以无所畏惧,那就是小时候的我
    成长,让我走向了不安和恐惧,因为那场车祸和我最爱的家人
    生活上的恐惧,感情上的恐惧或者其实连自己都惧怕自己


    我一遍遍想起那些肮脏的人和他们做的那些肮脏的事,眼泪模糊了视线,始终没有掉出来
    不值得
    我觉得自己在慢慢地封闭自己,在慢慢地从这个世界中抽离,却无从遁逃
    还要在现世里摸、爬、滚、打
    还要守护我的家人
    还要守护我越来越爱不释手的狗狗 
    于是一次次挺起脊梁骨为自己打气
    于是一次次想找回年轻的怒放的生命气息
    于是一次次打开灯照亮陷入黑暗中的自己
    一次次,在累了的时候,又把自己埋进深深的黑暗
    然后开始目光幻散地神游、神游……
    想游到一片纯净的世界

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